Nothing could ever have prepared me for the birth of our daughter Chloe, or the sheer bombardment of emotions that go along with becoming a mother. From the time that I found out that we were going to become parents I was excited, you all know, and if you read my blog you will see the excitement all the way through. However the most traumatic time of her journey into this world started on Sunday night while we were watching TV. Paul decided that to avoid any trouble I was not allowed to go to be till late, just in case labour was setting in (I had been feeling crampy and sore most of the evening), and well, the contractions started, and I knew that this was for real, and all of a sudden I really was scared about what I had to do. I was scared of the imminent pain, as well as the thought that I might not be able to finish what we started. Paul took me to the hospital at around 2am and I was already feeling strong contractions and the midwife on duty said that I was only 2.5cm dilated. However, by around 4am I was in so much pain I couldn't focus on anything, and Paul knew there was no way that I would make it through the rest of the labour without an epidural. There was no way that I was planning to be a martyr at this stage of the game. Dr C came to check up on me around 6am and said that he estimated another 3 hours before I would be ready to begin stage 2... pushing out the baby... needless to say he would out by an hour, as after about 8 contractions, and some very hard pushing, Chloe was born at 08:25. She weighed 3.42kg and was 47cm long (which has had comments of how short she is, but she hasn't exactly got giants for parents).
Paul asked me to describe the feeling when she was born, and it's difficult to describe, the actual feeling of a baby passing from inside your body to the outside. But, I don't think that I will be willing to describe the feeling on my blog. All I can say is it was an amazing experience, and intensely satisfying one, and incredibly emotional. It was surreal initially, all of a sudden having this tin little angel in your arms, while the doctor and midwife are rushing around you sorting out the carnage from the exit, and also making sure that both Chloe and I were safe and healthy. But, the more I am left alone with my thoughts the more emotional I find myself getting, and I keep getting time warped to her future thinking about things that will happen eventually.
The stay in hospital was amazing, the staff were brilliant, and always helpful, and I was always amazed at how the nursery sisters could hear a baby and then appear as if from no where and calm the child, knowing that the mother was stressing something serious as they have no clue as to what the problem is. It was also good to be able to "rest" in hospital and have the staff and nursery there when you needed them and to be able to get some good sleep.
Our first night home was quite traumatic with Chloe not sleeping much at all, and I had no idea why, but last night Paul made sure that she did go to sleep and I only fed her every 2 hours, which made a world of difference, to my sanity and that of my husband. Since then we have been able to settle a little, but I know that it will take a little while to get into a routine, considering that there hasn't really been a routine for the little on ever, and we haven't had to have a strict routine.
I'm sure that there will be more instalments, and if you don't get many updates on email, you know where to find my blog. There will be updates there.
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For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. Phil 4:13
If you're having trouble thinking out the box, then you're probably in the wrong box.
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